I have done a great deal of thinking about the admirable award and came up with the following solution to maintain the sort of "unobtainable" feel of it.
Penis of Posting
One must reach the number of posts determined for the award, originally 5k.
(I know you're thinking, "Well, no fucking shit Deadly", but wait there's more).
Award Special Attributes Clause:
After the award is granted, under the condition listed above, if/when a second member reaches the post milestone, the current member holding the title of "Penis of Posting" is stripped of his title and the post requirement is incremented by the count of 5,000 posts.
In conclusion, although the award is supposedly meant to be unobtainable, having an unobtainable award is frankly, fucking idiotic (sorry but truth). The whole point of achievements is that they are in fact achievable.
These changes would make it attainable yet an extreme achievement at the same time. For example, although Matt would currently hold the award, as soon as someone such as maybe, Steph or Fenway caught him he would lose it. And the award would be "up for grabs" again, if you will.
Anyway, it saddened me how Matt didn't get the award after the dedication he's shown and though long and hard about these changes. Would be happy if they were utilized.